Wednesdays

Post #3; [Kaito]

Wednesdays


Ever have one of those days where you feel like you fell through a hole and landed somewhere in the really deep unexplored abysses of the Twilight Zone?

Where all of a sudden, your reality shifts and bends and all you can muster is a "Whoa. I'm sure that juggling sock spider wasn't there a minute ago."

If that ever happens to you, please stop smoking.

Regardless, one should note that, even if juggling sock spiders (?) aren't involved, it's more than common to have days where strange things happen and people just seem entirely out of character. You know, the nerds acting [failing at being] badass, the conservative girls asking questions about male sexual experiences, and teachers actually teaching something interesting. It happened yesterday, but eyeface wanted tuesdays and therefore I've forgotten everything about my Twilight Zone moments that, admittedly, would have made great blogging material.

So, Wednesdays.

Wednesdays are like, the middle child of weekdays. Not the oldest, so he doesn't get all the privileges, but not the youngest, so no one's really all that interested in him either. He's just... sort of there to take up space. When weeks go and visit each other they usually introduce their children in the following manner:

"Oh, hello Bertha! Have you met my children, Monday, the beautiful little one, Tuesday, the genius (He'll go far in life), wednesday THURSDAY, the athlete, and Friday, our doctor son?" Or something like "And that's Wednesday, the accident I was telling you about. We don't like to talk to it."

And Wednesday will poke his mother, who will simply hiss "Will you shut the bloody hell up? I'm trying to set a good impression."

And Wednesday will sigh and walk away. Truth of the matter is, no one looks forward to Wednesdays. While no one likes mondays, people still look forward to them, albeit in a negative manner. Same for Tuesdays, but by Wednesday people usually get caught up in work and forget what day they are, (Hey, Fred, this document needs a date... What day are we? "Oh, Wednesday the thirteenth". "Wednesday? What is that, Mexican?") then Thursday (ALMOST WEEKEND) and Friday, the pinnacle of anyone's week.

Wednesdays suck so much they've even ruined my first post.

Having commited such a sinfully capital offense, it's more than clear that these days should be wiped off the map (calendar?). I'm officially starting the AFTEROW, the Assosciation for the Eradication of Wednesdays. To join, just take every calendar in your house and perform the tedious task of marking each Wednesday with a big red X. For emphasis, you can even scrawl "I WILL NOT ACKNOWLEDGE YOU!!!" on every third or fourth Wednesday.

And then we can look forward to a week without filler days!
Sweet.
Like Durians.

[For information on AFTEROW, simply call your local police station and mention you're robbing a bank. They will come pick you up and drive you to the nearest AFTEROW headquarters where we will debrief you on the latest Wednesday-eliminating mission. Really.]





[THE DURIAN FIVE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY ARRESTS PLACED ON PEOPLE WHO CANNOT RECOGNIZE SARCASM.]